“It is never too late
to be what you might have been. “(George Eliot)
I have found that truly successful people surround themselves
with the support that makes them excel. Over years of working
with clients I have found that people struggle when they
put their businesses and their lives in a self-imposed limiting
box and keep doing the same things over and over again.
So what I do it is help people dismantle that box –
the attitudes, ideas, beliefs, choices and strategies that
keep them limited – and I teach them how to connect
to the full range of their talents, abilities and resources
so that they can bring that immensity and excitement back
into their daily planning and choices.
I define a limiting box as any idea of yourself or the
world, any attitude, any language you use, any belief or
any experience that diminishes you in anyway or robs you
of your personal power and prevents you from moving forward
in the world.
Living in these boxes keeps us within what we already know
– we repeat the same habitual actions hoping for a
better result and end up disillusioned and feeling stuck.
In order to live the best life possible for yourself you
have to master the skill of moving into the unknown. The
unknown is really anything outside of the box that we have
created from past experiences, beliefs and ideas. It is
where fresh opportunity, excitement and more satisfaction
reside.
Over and over again in working with new clients we uncover
the ways in which they are creating difficulty for themselves
by not even seeing the opportunities that are right in front
of them – just slightly outside of their box. Often,
they feel frustrated in their efforts and even give up on
doing what they love most. In doing this they turn away
from what could bring their greatest reward.
Here are some symptoms of living “in
the box”:
- Frustration
- Anger
- Lack of energy or motivation
- Feeling stuck
- Resentment
- Lack of creativity
- Disorganization
- Cynicism
- Not doing what you love
- Boredom
- A sense of failure
- Despair
There are many boxes that people create for themselves.
Here are a few of them:
1.The box of language –
the I’m not or you’re not good enough box.
Language is a powerful tool. How we use it both describes
and begins to structure our experience for us.
Every time you use language that diminishes you or others
– “That was stupid of me”,
“I’m never going to make this work”,
“life it just too hard”…..etc, etc. –
we strengthen the walls of the box we are in.
2. The box of familiar actions –
the I’m safe if I don’t try anything-new
box.
Our actions can either open new doorways for us or keep
us in the same groove we are familiar with. Someone described
his experience of this lately. He said that it is like going
down a dead-end street and then having to turn around and
come back again over and over again– wasting a whole
lot of energy and time in the process. After doing this
a number of times people often give up. Seeing and acting
outside of the box can allow you a different perspective
from which to connect the dots.
3. The box of blame –
the I have no power box.
Many people insist on blaming their circumstances, the
financial markets, their spouse, dog or anyone else for
the situation they are in. Until you can recognize and identify
the ways you are perpetuating this box and take responsibility
it is very difficult to make real progress. Granted externals
have an impact but recognizing how you create a box out
of circumstances allows you the power and energy to begin
moving out of it.
4. The box of negative expectation
– the I know that the same thing is going to
happen box.
When faced with something you don’t know notice if
you expect either something negative to happen or expect
that what you have experienced before will repeat itself.
Many people use this as a way to move away from their fear
of change and keep the status quo in place. They would rather
stay with the known pain than risk something new. The unknown
I am talking about has all the possibility in it –
if we project our negative or limiting expectations on it
there is no room for anything new. Imagine what would happen
if this box didn’t hold you!
What are your favorite boxes and what might happen in your
personal or professional life if you were guided out of
those boxes? Often it is hard for us to do it alone. Sometimes
we can’t even identify where we are stuck without
a fresh set of very interested eyes.
Coaching can offer you that new vantage point, that broader
view and the support and tools needed to move outside your
BOX. |
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