Many people don’t really
understand the gift they have been given in their ability
to be decisive. According to the dictionary, decisiveness
means ‘having the power or quality of settling a dispute,
question, doubt, contest, event, etc.’ How individuals
use this power of decisiveness will strongly influence the
quality of life that they experience.
Not long ago, I really began to understand how my decisions
affect my life. My husband and I were going through a difficult
time when he lost his job due to his company merging with
another organization. I could have been optimistic about
the situation, looking at it as a chance for him to get
a better job. However, instead of looking at it in this
manner, I experienced the situation as me being a helpless
victim of life who was suffering some cruel injustice that
I did not deserve. I complained about my circumstances to
anyone who would listen. “Why was my life getting
harder?” “Why were problems that I thought I
had successfully overcome once again resurfacing?”
I believed that life was totally unfair. I was having a
great big pity party and I wasn’t even having any
fun. (Even peak performance experts sometimes forget the
things they teach others and find themselves in the depths
of despair.) Finally, as I sat in an advanced success class,
the instructor must have gotten tired of hearing me complain
and she bluntly told me that my life could be easier if
I decided that it would be. I felt like I had been struck
between the eyes with 2 by 4. I was more than slightly insulted
by that comment and my first reaction was to get my things
together at break time and go home.
However, the following morning a funny thing happened.
As I thought about my teacher’s comments, I decided
that she was absolutely right. I decided to believe that
my life would be easy and flowing with harmony, peace, joy
and abundance. My pity party was over and I finally began
to experience joy again. Actually, I began to get downright
excited about all of the wonderful prospects in my life.
Why did I have such a tough time initially? It was because
I believed that I had to react negatively to what was going
on in my life, not realizing that by doing so, I was really
deciding the course of my future. I thought that I should
be disappointed, frustrated and scared because things were
not going the way I thought they should. However, I now
understand that my unconscious decision to respond to the
situation negatively guaranteed that I would experience
more of the same. I did not understand that I could make
a firm decision to perceive the events in my life in a different
way.
MAKE A DIFFERENT DECISION
Many of us think we have no choice as to how to respond
to life. But we absolutely do. Every response that we have
is, in reality, a decision and the Law of Cause and Effect
will make sure that we experience more of that decision
in the future. The Law of Cause and Effect states that whatever
we focus on (good or bad), we will attract into our lives.
Don’t be fooled by its seeming simplicity. This is
an extremely powerful law that has a major impact on our
lives.
I have decided to interpret everything that happens in
my life as something positive and as evidence that greater
good is coming into my life. Some people may think I am
crazy and not being realistic. I don’t care. When
I interpret things the way any ‘normal’ person
would (which means negatively), it prevents me from moving
forward, it causes me to doubt myself, and I feel pessimistic
about my future. I’ve had enough experience to know
that when my thoughts are focused on the problems in my
life, my mind is directing the Law of Cause and Effect to
bring more of the same types of negative experiences into
my life. Well, I am having none of that anymore, thank you
very much. When I interpret things in a positive way, it
makes me feel good and then my mind is focused on good and
the Law of Cause and Effect will bring more good into my
life . It sounds like a better plan to me. Besides, most
of the time when we interpret a situation in a negative
way, we are usually not being realistic, we blow things
out of proportion, and we make them worse than they really
are. If I am not going to be realistic about a situation
anyway, I might as well do it so it empowers me. And that
is exactly what I have decided to do.
WHAT DECISIONS ARE YOU MAKING?
The problem with decisiveness is that most of us do not
really understand the extent to which we can make decisions
in our lives. We may think we can make decisions about some
things but not others. But that is not true. We can absolutely
decide how we are going to experience life – whether
it will be a struggle or a joy. Sometimes we are so enmeshed
in our unconscious negative choices that it takes enormous
self-discipline to tell ourselves, “No. I have decided
to experience this situation differently. I am not going
to allow my thoughts to go back to places that I don’t
want.” The Law of Cause and Effect will always cooperate
with our choice and bring us whatever we decide.
Most of us are very strong in the decisions we make in
some areas of our lives, but we don’t assert our power
in our thoughts. Think about a food that you really hate,
something that you would not eat under any circumstances.
If I put it in front of you and asked you to eat it, you
would probably say, “No way. I am not eating that.
Never in a million years.” No problem making a firm
decision in that situation. Well, why not assert that same
firmness when it comes to negative thinking? When a negative
thought comes to you, pretend it is that despised food being
offered to you and say “No way. I am not allowing
any of that into my mind.” The law will respond to
your decision and that thought will not find its way in.
THE PRACTICAL SIDE OF DECISIVENESS
Being decisive in how you will experience life is really
very practical. A number of years ago, I was teaching a
course in an urban area in New Jersey in a section that
is infested with drug pushers, addicts, and others who are
operating at the lowest levels of life. One night as I was
getting ready to park my car, I heard a big commotion. When
I turned to see what was happening, I saw a woman holding
a knife with a ten-inch blade. She was menacingly close
to some guy and she was yelling about how she was going
to stab him with it. To say that I experienced a little
fear is an understatement. My first thought was to stay
in the car because if she noticed me, I might become sliced
meat. Then I decided that I was not about to let my thoughts
go in that direction. I also decided to know that everywhere
I go peace, harmony, and security surround me. Immediately
afterward, someone took the knife away from the woman and
all was calm. The following night when I arrived to teach
another class, the neighborhood was calm, peaceful and serene.
As I walked into the place where the classes were held,
one of the students told me that there had just been a big
fight between some guys right in front of the building.
It ended just before I arrived. I decided to experience
peace and harmony wherever I go and the Law of Cause and
Effect responded.
The Bible says, “You shall decide upon a thing and
it shall be done unto you.” We decide and the Law
of Cause and Effect responds. Look at those areas of your
life that are not working and make a different decision
about them. You have an incredible power to live the life
of your choosing. Just remember that the quality of our
lives is truly whatever we decide.
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