Strictly speaking, his advice
was preceded by another Heinlein maxim as well. "Sovereign
ingredient for a happy marriage: Pay cash or do without.
Interest charges not only eat up a household budget; awareness
of debt eats up domestic felicity." Today, that advice
gets abused eight ways to Sunday, as the average household
is currently carrying credit card debt to the tune of over
$10,000. Assuming an interest rate of 18%, this works out
to about 150 bucks a month going to the credit card company.
That’s money NOT available for things like fresh flowers
on your desk... new skis... upgrading to gourmet coffees
and wines for daily consumption, or dinner out (including
tips and babysitter).
Luxury item #1: Get out of consumer debt
Being debt-free is an incredible luxury! There are a ton
of books and articles out there already on how to budget
and avoid debt, so I won't hold forth on how to do it. The
important issue is WHY to do it. And the answer is simple.
Peace of mind is the ultimate luxury!
Luxury item #2: Make some time to make
a wish list!
While putting the wheels in motion on reducing debt, there's
a happier issue to think through as well: What is it you
really want out of life? Peace of mind (and of household)
starts with asking these Really Big Questions!
More importantly (assuming you actually care about your
relationship), what is it your partner craves? If you don't
know, well... it can be fun finding out. Too many financial
planning exercises are painful, which is why not enough
people do them. This exercise, finding out what really matters
to you both, isn't.
What are the things in life that really feel like luxury
to you? Now is the time to identify them, and separate out
the smaller, less satisfying things you’re paying
for that keep you from getting what you really want.
To keep to the spirit of fun, I’ve found it's useful
to agree to some simple ground rules:
Make some unbroken wish list time for the two of you
There are no such things as 'silly ideas' or 'waste of money'
items during the wish list time (that will come later on
during a reality-check period)
No impulse spending during the wish list time! Window shop
if you want, share a seat in front of the computer if you’re
looking online... my preference is to go hang out in antique
markets and bohemian shopping districts for ideas, but you
might prefer to go visit a travel agent’s office or
web site. It DOESN'T matter!
Each partner gets equal time to show off their ideas if
they want it.
Being realistic, there will, of course, be a price tag associated
with the wish list. Also being realistic, not all luxuries
cost an arm and a leg, either. If you have the iron will
to make a strict budget and do without so that you can go
hang out in Tuscany for a month next fall, good for you
(and yours!) If you're like me, though, it may make sense
to make do with lesser luxuries.
Luxury item #3: Keep looking until you
find reasonably-priced luxuries that really make your life
more worth living, then revel in them!
That's all it takes. If you get this far, you've done a
few extremely healthy things. For starters, you've actually
talked to your sweetie about money, without it being a crisis!
You've spent some time dreaming together. You've examined
your debt and thought about what it's costing you. And with
any luck, you've found at least one thing you can enjoy
without feeling guilty about what it's costing you... because
it's an investment in your piece of mind.
|