600 Words

Publishing an Online Newsletter isn't easy. And, like the world beyond the Internet, you'll meet a few hostile individuals who want to make it even more difficult.

Believe me, if you are in the publishing game Online for the long run you will have to cope with the following challenges at least once. I've listed these problems in reverse order: from the laughable to the ridiculous. Let's start counting down!

7. You receive an email. The sender visited your wonderful site. They think it's great. Ah...here are a few programs sure to drive traffic to your web-site like stampeding cattle. (Heh, but do I want people trampling my web-site like dumb cattle) They include 2 dozen or more affiliate programs to click on.

6. You receive an email from a new subscriber requesting his one free ad bonus for signing up. They send you a rambling, misspelled, 10 line badly formatted ad. (Spell check Please!)

5. An individual sends you an email for a Mutually Beneficial joint venture. (Yup) This Online wheeler dealer offers an ad swap. You run their full page Solo Ad and they will run your Solo Ad. But wait! After investigating you discover this individual does not have a website or newsletter. And the email address is fake. (Beware grasshopper of strange email bearing solo gifts)

4. And a few marketing masters only want a regular ad swap up to 5 lines. After research, you discover this mastermind of con doesn’t have a newsletter to swap ads with or a website. And...you guessed it. The email address was fake. (UMMM..eenie meanie minee NO Thanks!)

3. An African Prince, Official, or whatever, sends you an email requesting you send him your bank account number so he may transfer funds to your account. It is of the utmost importance. This is the only way he can get his funds out of the country and away from unscrupulous associates plotting to overthrow his regime. For this he will pay you a generous amount...thousands No Wait...Millions! (Bite Me!!!)

2. An easily amused individual repeatedly fills in an auto responder form on your web-site with fake names and email addresses, causing corresponding email to bounce like a rubber ball all over cyber-space. Meanwhile, his IP address is happily captured by the auto responder numerous times. Making it easy to identify and report.

1. An individual sends angry email to the newsletter address requesting immediate removal from the list. They never requested the newsletter. You, like me, run a double opt-in list. The only way for any one to receive a copy of the newsletter is to personally enter their name and email address on a form on the website or send an email to the listserver. Then, they will receive a confirmation email, which they must answer, to be added to the list. You, like me, do not personally sign up individuals. But, you bite your tongue or delete the expletives in your mind and manually remove the email address from your list when they could have easily removed their email address by clicking on the unsubscribe link included in every issue. (But that would require the ability to click a link and perhaps a fully formed thumb.)